The Rising Toll: Femicide in Ireland

The conversation around women's safety in Ireland has taken a stark and urgent turn this week, following the tragic murder of Jamey Carney in Killarney. Her death adds another name to a growing, grim list: eight women violently killed in Ireland this year alone. This figure already surpasses last year's total, prompting Taoiseach Micheál Martin to acknowledge in the Dáil that the numbers are "not going in the right direction." It's a chilling statistic that forces us to confront a pattern many have been trying to highlight for far too long: femicide in Ireland.

For families like David French's, this national conversation isn't an abstract concept. It's a raw, painful reality. His sister, Valerie French, was strangled and stabbed by her husband, James Kilroy, in June 2019. Valerie was just 41, leaving behind three young sons. Kilroy was sentenced to life in prison just last year. David's experience, and the advocacy that has followed, offers a profoundly human insight into the systemic issues at play. He tells us that "change the names and it's any woman's story," a statement that resonates deeply with the experiences of countless others.

Beyond the Headlines: The Subtle Signs of Abuse

When a woman is murdered, the headlines often focus on the immediate act. But David French points out something crucial: "The homicides make the news, but you know, the women with the black eyes aren't." He's talking about the often-hidden, insidious nature of domestic abuse that frequently precedes these violent acts. While some women killed by their partners have indeed experienced physical assaults, the abuse isn't always so overt. Coercive control, emotional manipulation, and a profound sense of entitlement from the perpetrator can be just as damaging, eroding a woman's autonomy long before physical violence escalates.

"I think people have the impression of, 'If he hits me, I'll leave'… Well, if he stabs you, you don't get a chance, that's the end of it," David says. This stark observation highlights the danger of reducing domestic abuse to only its most visible forms. In hindsight, David's family "saw stuff afterwards" in Valerie's relationship. Yet, he stresses there were no clear "warning signals" that Kilroy, whom he describes as "not a violent man, per se" but "incredibly entitled" and "very manipulative," would commit such an act. David strongly believes Kilroy killed Valerie after she told him she was leaving him, a tragically common trigger in femicide cases.

The Pattern of Femicide: Entitlement and Ownership

David French describes a familiar, grim pattern in the news reports of these killings: "Woman's body found and then, within a few hours, a man known to the victim is being picked up, next thing he's charged, next thing he's the husband, the ex-partner, the boyfriend, whatever." This highlights a chilling consistency. The victims are, as he puts it, "just every normal person." The killers, however, tend to be "entitled men who either can't take no for an answer or can't stomach the idea that their marriage is probably going to split up or whatever. They feel they own the kids and they own her."

This sense of ownership and control is a recurring theme in the discourse around femicide. Women's Aid, an organisation that provides vital support to women experiencing domestic violence, reports that 286 women have died violently in Ireland since 1996. Since 2020 alone, 82 women have been killed violently on the island of Ireland, with 52 in the Republic. A staggering six in ten of these women were killed in their own homes, and almost nine in ten knew their killer. This data underscores the fact that the greatest danger for women often comes not from strangers, but from those closest to them. Sarah Benson, chief executive of Women's Aid, rightly states that femicide is intrinsically linked to domestic and sexual violence, noting that one in three women experience some form of domestic abuse.

The Role of Online Misogyny and "Victim Blaming"

A deeply troubling aspect of this pattern is the influence of online communities that propagate misogynistic views. Sarah Benson expressed concerns about the exposure of young men to pornography that normalises violence against women and the proliferation of the "manosphere" – online communities that actively promote misogyny and oppose feminism. These "toxic" views, she warns, have become "absolutely integrated" into some people's worldviews, largely due to how much of our lives are now online. Apps and platforms that profit from such content, she argues, need to be held accountable.

David French shares this concern, particularly about violent pornography. While acknowledging that men like Kilroy "grew up before the manosphere and the internet got popular," he believes it shows that "madly patriarchal" men have always existed. He urges men to call out sexist behaviour from other men, even seemingly harmless "people testing the waters with sexist jokes."

Another critical issue David raises is the pervasive problem of "victim blaming." The common question, "Why didn't she leave?" is, he says, profoundly misplaced. "It's like, why the hell didn't he leave? He could have left." This sentiment shifts the responsibility squarely where it belongs: on the perpetrator. It challenges a societal narrative that often places undue blame on the victim for not escaping an abusive situation, rather than questioning the actions of the abuser.

Moreover, David highlights the differential treatment of men and women, even when they are victims' families. He observes that as a man, he faces "zero" pushback on social media when discussing these issues. "I'm privileged as a man. I'm entitled to be angry, whereas if a woman shows up as angry – if one of my sisters shows up as angry – it's like, 'Oh, you know, she's this or she's that.'" This observation speaks volumes about the societal biases that continue to persist.

A Step Towards Change: Valerie's Law

In the face of such profound loss and injustice, families like the Frenchs have channelled their grief into action. David French campaigned for years to change legislation regarding guardianship rights. His tireless efforts led to the Guardianship of Infants (Amendment) Bill 2026, now widely known as "Valerie's Law." This critical piece of legislation ensures that a parent convicted of killing the other parent of their children does not automatically retain guardianship rights. Its passage through the Oireachtas, alongside another bill aimed at protecting women from violence, represents a significant step forward.

While legislation is vital, the rising number of femicides this year underscores that there is still a long way to go. It requires a societal shift, a challenging of deeply ingrained patriarchal attitudes, and a collective commitment to protecting women from violence in all its forms. The stories of women like Valerie French and Jamey Carney are not just tragic headlines; they are urgent calls to action for everyone in Ireland.

For more information and support regarding domestic violence, please visit the Women's Aid website. The Irish Times also provides comprehensive reporting on crime and justice in Ireland.